The maid of honor just puked.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
