he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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