I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
