and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
