I love black thongs
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
