Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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