we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
