When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
false alarm. still invincible.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
