I'm drive I can fine osifer
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
