He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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