This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
