: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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