I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
