giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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