i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
