ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize