he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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