I'm gonna have a badass scar
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
