This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
