It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize