I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
