I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
