ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
he shaved USA in his pubs
The best revenge is premature balding
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
