Got a toothbrush?
Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
