I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
where does the pee come out of this thing
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
