hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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