using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Randomize
