She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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