Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm always down for nudity.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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