No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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