Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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