But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
The air was thick with penises
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
