It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
