This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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