Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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