: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
