I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
we're making bets on your personal life
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
