she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
