I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
