3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
i would punch a child for taco bell
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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