Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
