at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
