Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize
