we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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