Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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