I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
