so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
