is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
