im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
