We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
