I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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