....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
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