i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
