What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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