I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
they're like a gay fantastic four
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
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