that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
